pebble

digital artist • 24 • it/she

all links are 18+

Hi! If you're here then you're probably wondering, "why is this character missing their limbs?". For others, the reason is usually that they're either an amputee in real life, that they just like the look of robot limbs or that they're into it as a kink. Personally though, I have BIID and portraying my sona without its limbs is a comfort thing.Alternatively, if you were linked from a drawing of a character that isn't mine, the owner of that character is dealing with the same thing.


What is BIID?

Body Integrity Identity Disorder aka BIID is a rare condition where your brain's body image is missing parts of your actual body. It's kind of like being trans, where your brain's body image is that of the opposite sex (or something in between or other), except parts of it are missing entirely.This can be pretty much anything: your senses, your ability to control specific limbs, parts of your body existing in general.For me, personally, it's all of my limbs from about a third of the way down.


What is that like?

The way it manifests is basically that I'm dysphoric about those parts of my body. I also have constant obsessive thoughts about what it'd be like to live without them, ranging from little things that'd have to change in my life to fully imagining the process of having something like that done in detail. Generally I think about this for at least 2 hours a day. It's impossible not to have these thoughts.It's really hard to cope with, especially considering how hard it is to tell people about this. I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive husband and friends who don't judge me and let me talk about it. Drawing affirming art helps a lot. I also like to pretend sometimes (only letting myself use one of my arms and such).


Are there any treatment options?

Historically a lot of things have been tried and the only thing that actually worked was letting people with this have their undesired body parts removed. Therapy does help make the symptoms better, but they never go away.Having this done is not currently an option anywhere in the world, the medical community sees it as unethical despite the fact that it helps people and in many cases they can function better afterwards.Personally I would not want to pursue that option unless there are functionally equivalent prosthetics available since I like, need these to do things.


Are you gonna ..?

If you looked up anything about this condition online, what you likely found were articles talking about people with this who have taken the extreme measure of removing their limbs themselves. While there are people who do this, it's very rare. Most of us just find ways to live with it.The reason why these cases are the only ones that get written about is that the media would rather get a quick sensationalist article out of us and continue negatively affecting how others view people with this condition than attempt to help in any way.


I feel like this applies to me, what now?

This condition is rare. While it's been known about for a long time, it was only officially recognized by the WHO very recently, and the American diagnostic manual still does not recognize it.The vast majority of doctors do not know about its existence. This unfortunately means that the medical community cannot help you in any way.If you want to know for sure, the best thing to do would probably be to talk to someone who knows they have this and compare your experiences.